(Tumblr Gets Deep, Pt. 2)
HOLY SHIT DUDE
"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"
Remember that watermelon crushing thigh cartoon recently? Well after just watching an episode of Stan Lee’s Superhuman’s that shit is real.
Now, to give you an example the force required to crush the average watermelon is around 320 pounds as seen below:
But with using only the power of her god like thighs this is the result:
And this is why Thick thighs are fucking glorious.
thick thighs crush skulls
nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite
reasons why halloween is the best holiday:
- you are not obliged to visit your relatives
- you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
- people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
- its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin
My brother and his wife got in a fight last night. She apparently used his phone as a ninja star.
how hard did she throw that
This is so perfect
American Sex Education
My baby called me and told me she is running for Vice President, and wanted to read me her speech.
I couldn’t be more proud of her.So they had the election and she didn’t win, her little heart is so broken. It’s ok though, when she’s changing the world and becomes the president of this fucked up ass country she’ll look back on this. Win or lose I’m my baby’s biggest fan
Would you guys mind doing me a favor? I normally wouldn’t ask you all to do this but would you reblog this so I can show my sister? All of the notes will count as all the votes she didn’t get. I just want her to feel better and I think this would warm her little heart.
I don’t know what he’s fixing, but mine just broke.